Confusion
I am trying to imagine back on the days I wrote my demo tracks. What was I’m thinking back then? How cool was I back then to write some cool tunes. Ahaha. Seriously, I think I did write some good tunes. Back then, I was trying to comfort myself through the music and lyrics I wrote. My writings were to describe the part of me that people didn’t always see. I was on the edge of total depression mode, which driven me to pen down stuff while shutting my life away from the outside world, locked n alone inside my bedroom, a room full of a thousand emptiness. See, i can still write.
I like art the most. It was the cause that developed my sentimental rage and help me to see things, on both edge. People can’t just understand but there are those who can, the ones that take things on a different view. I used to think deep even before events occurred. I used to think much of life until I’m trapped of that craziness. Insanity. Don’t go beyond the limits or you might as well end up in a mental detention centre, whatsoever. It’s good to experience but for me, it was a clear cut not to get through it again. I was ready to take my life, twice as I remember, for thinking to much and lots for not having to sleep for weeks. Zombified. Depression is somewhat you can’t afford to lose to. I was so near on that stand.
I end up with 2 characteristics, to love and the other is to hate. That’s just another different story. I came across a saying sounding “To love is to hate some things and to hate is to love other things”. Confusing but, if you follow my thinking, I’d be saying yes it’s true and I can elaborate lots on that subject while some people just think the simplest way. People find me too complicated most of the time because of the twisting mind play. Well, I do hate that but that’s just the way the brain functioning now. Easy for you to say but I’m dying to get over this. I just want to answer directly “yes” or “no” but always end up in between. Example? Read this post!! 
