Raindrops and firefly

i’ve just finish reading a very cool story of ‘growing up’ stuff and it made me wondering about my own. ahh, i kinda miss my bestfriends during school time. where are u guys??

i still remember when we were those kids during the 90’s, we were like brothers and sisters. we fought, laughed, getting wasted, teasing girlfriends, hangouts, etc.. those were such happy memories. It was just like yesterday when we met yet we’ve been apart like a million years wide, nowadays. i wonder, what are you all doing right now? i guess you all are doing just fine ya. well, i hope so

i met some of them a few years back. not even half of ‘us’ but it’s enough to bring memories back.  it supprised me that they haven’t changed much. to think about it now, yup i guess we’re still those kids yet with more mature features. I’m not hoping for the worse but come on….it’s has been like how long since spm? 10 years or something? i can’t remember well but as for my so called ‘brothers’ or the ‘gang’… oiii, it’s time to get married la oii haha.

now that i’ve mention about it, last week i met with si ruther punya mom and she was like ‘when are you BACHELORS going to get married?’ hahaha. yeah, it’s not like the world is going suddenly ends but i guess it’s still early to think of it. age is just a number, they say. we aren’t ready yet to settle down. lot’s of things to do… but i guess, it all comes to 1 thing, excuses. the truth is, sorry to let you down aunty but i don’t even have a girlfriend at the moment. hehehe. nda laku ni haha. it was kinda funny, though, to be scolded out of nothing.

i don’t know about if you guys still remember it but is there by chance that the ‘janji’ we’ve made is still on? coz i don’t see any of us, the so called ‘the gang lelaki’, by chance or hook is going to get married in the nearest future. the moms are already getting impatient, i should say. kawin la kamu deluan ahahaha deep down in my heart, im actually is looking forward to see the final result. who will be the first and the last to get a wife. i’ve made a promise to my elders last year but i still have another 1 year to get someone to live and die for. goshhh might just be the first to get knocked out of the list.

i am sorry to my girlfriends, i didn’t come on your wedding day, respectedly. i’ve been busy with my on stuff here. life is now a ‘rollercoster’ kinda bit. it’s hard to take shape and is still a blurry future but worry not, im still your ‘classmate’ with a brain. pandai berfikir suda la konon ni ahaha. but it’s true ahaha.

i miss you guys. hope to see you again, somehow. i wish you all good luck in life. may the best of us roam freely and prosperous.

my aunt’s savo (orang gaji/maid) pronounces black ants or semut hitam as simut LMAO.
when my cousin sis and i heard she pronounced simut the other day, it was the turning point of black ants in my dictionary. she officially killed the word and patterned simut for eternity, but only to be used in this house, of course. it sounds cute, though.

e,g, ’suda minum nanti itu gelas bawa turun nanti banyak simut”..fully powered by the ‘om’ dialect.

there are so many misusage words in this house, as for the name Suria was changed to Sinar by the autority of my aunt for her savo, and if you are wondering why, the answer will be ‘differences in alphabetic order but they carry the same meaning for sunshine’ hahaha. Suria will no longer be Suria but Sinar.

Have you ever took a time during the night and spent hours looking at the night sky counting stars? I did that and it’s been awhile since my last star gazing session.

I have always felt in love with the stars. I still remember when i was a teenager, i was so obsessed with the night sky. I used to go out during the night and grouped with my teenage friends at the small football field. It was a very stupid idea to sleep on top of the grass for hours but we really felt good inside, without saying much.

There was a time during 96′ after the notorious flood in keningau, barely could you see a house with any ray of light. The devastated land was darken for almost half a year because of the electricity cut-off. A lost world during the night. But because of the darkness of night, you could see a sea of stars and there is no other place can compare with it. The sky was like been painted with a greenish and blueish colours, all over. It was a super magical moment in my life. Sometimes you can see stars that move from one place to another. okey, that was something weird actually but who cares, not many can see that.

One of my memorable star gazing event was in a middle of the jungle and i was standing in the middle of a river. Trees as old as time and they were huge!!! Scary as hell but geez, im still alive. I have experienced eclipes, tahi bintang, moving stars, and yeah, comet!! Back in 97 or 98, there was a comet named Hale-Bob (if im not mistaken) completed its circle around the sun and it was so near to the earth that you could see it with a naked eyes. it was like a bird shit flattened on your car front glass, or something like that, so-so. i dont know if i can make it to another 86 years from that day to see another glimpse of that comet. Once in my lifetime, for sure.

One thing i never experienced until now is the meteor shower. The sky will be brighten if it occurs. I can’t wait to see that.

i went back to my hometown to accompany my mom since friday. she was admitted in the district hospital for a small surgery yesterday morning. To get a meat sample off her breast. Damn, that’s not so sweet. So i’ve been in and out of the ward from friday night until yesterday evening. I must say, i dislike to stay long in there.

to see so much suffering from illnesses and diseases made me very, very scared. my GOD, it’s pretty damn scary, plus, the smell of medicine…thank God i survived and i didnt faint, even once. I pray to God, please, don’t let anyone from my family to ever need his/her present there, no more. my heart broke down when i think of this, it saddens me a lot. it’s like a torn in my heart.

i guess when things start to fall and hopes start crumble down, the one best thing was the present of one’s family members. not that my mom was into a critical state or anything but the thoughts that kept hovering inside were more like an enemy than your best friends. but when smiles start to rain down from the pale gray, no other words can describe the happy feeling. i guess it’s true, laughter is the best medicine.

the person next to my mom, she was an elderly great grandmother of generations. at the age of 91, she was still strong enough to live for so many years ahead. it gave another hope to live for another day. she was my best friend’s grand mother yet, being in the other side of the world, i think he’s doing good.

i shared the same sadness with my mom, even though we never talked much. yes i know, i should start to take things easy and calmly. but that doesnt mean we are not happy with each others. life ain’t seem to portrait the direct colours whatsoever, but to see the other meaning of it, it means good.

it saddens me much more than anything to see the person i love so much got into that kind of situation. accidentally or not, it is still a very, very sad thing. things should get better, i hope. so many things lying around dead inside my head, and definitely, it’s time to awaken them. sounds like an awakening dead, might sounds awkward but it’s a good thing. they are the ones (thoughts) to contribute to a better future ahead.

sickness is one scary thing and death is just another part of it. Damn, devouring that kind of words it’s like suicide.

i love my mom, an unspoken written words.